I was married to my wife way back in 2001, and as far as our relationship was concerned, we already experienced tons of ups and downs that we somehow managed to deal with over the course of our marriage. I was pretty sure that my wife and I were on the same page – dreaming the best for our future – and that’s practically one of the main reasons why we survived our relationship. However, everything changed after we discovered that she was suffering from autoimmunity. From there, I can say that we reached the peak of the worst thing that can ever happen to our relationship.
My Wife’s Multiple Sclerosis Affected Me
My wife has multiple sclerosis. It is a type of autoimmunity disorder that affects almost everything about her. Aside from its potential damage to her brain and spinal cord, she also suffers from multiple mood alterations. “MS causes damage in many areas of the nervous system. This leads to symptoms that are often different for different people,” Lauren Krupp, M.D., and Robert Charlson, M.D. said. Sometimes, even her psychological state is at stake. I’m not saying she’s crazy but her actions are often confusing and that makes me felt so stressed. Aside from that, she also experiences severe physical discomfort all over her leg that somehow affects her mobility. I won’t try to hide the truth that I am pissed off with her excuses every time she declines my invitation for sexual activity. My wife looks so tired and stressed out and it feels like nothing seems to cheer her up, so I always end up leaving her alone by herself because that’s what she always wants me to do.
My wife’s health condition is unpredictable, and nearly every day, we have to expect something new. She often looks down on herself, and her state attracts negative energy that undoubtedly affected both of us. “With MS, the rate of depression is three-times higher than the general population and it is also higher than with other chronic illnesses,” Jack Burks, MD and co-author wrote. Sometimes due to her pessimistic behavior, I often behave poorly towards her. I feel guilty whenever she tries to push herself to get better just because I asked her to work on her situation. My wife’s condition is a bit frustrating, and I have to admit, I am significantly affected by it. It’s not that I don’t want to take care of her, but sometimes it frustrates me because I know there’s nothing I can do about it. Though multiple sclerosis is manageable with medication and therapy, it continues to disappoint me all the time.
I may sound so insensitive all throughout this episode of our lives, but I know I am just trying to express what a caretaker honestly feels about this kind of situation. It’s depressing, stressful, and tiring. It tends to create a long-lasting impact not only on our emotional and psychological state but also in our overall development. “As a caregiver, you will get angry – at your spouse, at the disease, at doctors who seem uncaring or unwilling to look at the whole patient. Prepare for this anger and try to direct it at the responsible party: the disease,” Robert N. Kraft Ph.D. advised.
But you know what, even if I feel that I already had enough with the kind of relationship that I have right now, it still won’t stop me from loving my wife. I may sound like an idiot that keeps on complaining how my wife treats me during her struggle with multiple sclerosis, but she’s still my significant other. At the end of the day, I can perfectly tell the world how much she means to me, and by that, I am more than willing to sacrifice everything for her.