How My Wife’s Battle With Multiple Sclerosis Affected Me


MS is “widely considered an autoimmune disorder, meaning that the immune system of an otherwise normal person is tricked into attacking healthy parts of the body, MS causes damage in many areas of the nervous system. This leads to symptoms that are often different for different people. These include things as seemingly diverse as fatigue, walking problems, depression, cognitive impairment, muscle tightness, or bladder problems,” says Lauren Krupp, M.D., and Robert Charlson, M.D.

It was a bit of a struggle in my relationship when my wife got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It became a challenge for both of us because the situation was something that we could not control. It made us realize that there are things that we can do together to fight the kind of unfortunate situation we have.

Being a husband, I understand that I have a lot of responsibilities to do and taking care of a person with a chronic illness has become one of my top priorities. Though it is physically and emotionally exhausting, I make sure that I stay strong for the sake of my wife’s wellbeing.


How I Assisted My Wife

The most important thing I managed to do is I made sure that my wife receives all the love and understanding she needs. There were no complaints, judgments, demands, and favors. I paid attention to her health by administrating adequate measures of exercise that she was allowed to do such as yoga, simple stretching, walking, and so on. It is also vital that I provide her healthy and nutritious food. It became a tool in giving her all the essential nutrients she needed to start off her day healthy. I made sure that she doesn’t skip regular schedule of medications and provided necessary treatments for her condition. I also made sure that we maintain our communication so we can comfortably talk about the things that we need to do together.




How The Situation Affected Me

As I continued to help her in her struggle with multiple sclerosis, I also experienced some changes within myself. I became more sensitive to her needs. I paid attention to acknowledging her feelings because it also changed my mood a lot of times and I knew that not all of them are useful in handling a toxic situation. Her condition affected me in a way that I wasn’t able to function normally too. I became stressed and depressed about her state, and all I can think of were ways on how to make her feel better. I felt like I was pressured to do things out of the ordinary merely to give her everything she needed. I’m not perfect, and I do have complaints sometimes. But when I think about my wife’s condition, I have come to realize that there is more than what I can give her.




Taking Care Of Myself

Robert N. Kraft Ph.D. has a personal recount about MS since his wife is coping from it. “Do not be too hard on yourself, or too easy. Don’t condemn yourself when you behave poorly and don’t congratulate yourself when you behave well – especially when other people say how admirable you are. You are not admirable. You are simply muddling through, doing the best you can.”

When I realized that my wife’s condition was also affecting me, I immediately took care of myself. I was in the right position to say that I won’t be able to provide for her needs when I can’t function. I managed to look for better resources such as therapy sessions and meditations.  I can say that it helped a lot in changing my perspective towards the battle I am facing, especially with my wife’s multiple sclerosis. My wife depended on me so I knew I should take care of myself for her. “Emotional availability is about overtly letting your partner know that nothing is more important than how the two of you feel about one another,” said Stuart B. Fensterheim, LCSW.

All I can say is, even though multiple sclerosis is something that is unfortunate, it became a reason for my wife and me to become closer to each other. I would never regret spending every single time in taking care of her.